How to Agree, Disagree and Give Your Opinion Politely in English

The four moves of a polite disagreement

Most polite disagreements in English, at work or with friends, are built from the same four moves. Each one has a job.

Put together, it sounds like this: “I see why you want to launch next week. I’m just not sure we’ll be ready, because QA still has twelve open bugs. What if we aim for the 20th?” With a friend, two moves are often enough: “Fair point, but I still think the first movie was better.”

Dictionaries and conversation research point the same way. The Oxford Learner’s Dictionaries note on disagreeing says that “it is common to express support for something that the other person says before expressing disagreement.” Researchers who study recorded conversations describe a similar one: replies that agree tend to come quickly and plainly, while replies that disagree tend to come with delays, softening and explanations (Wikipedia’s article on conversation analysis summarizes this research by Anita Pomerantz and others). In Penelope Brown and Stephen Levinson’s politeness theory, disagreement is one of the acts that threaten the listener’s “positive face,” their wish to be liked and approved of (Wikipedia). The four moves protect that wish while you still say what you think.

Giving your opinion: strong, neutral or tentative

Pick the strength that matches how sure you are. Most of the time, the neutral row is the right one.

“I think” does most of the work. The Oxford Learner’s Dictionaries entry for think lists a use “to make something you say sound less definite or more polite,” so “I think we should wait” is softer than “We should wait.” Use one opinion marker per sentence: “In my opinion, I think…” says the same thing twice. And watch the preposition: Cambridge Dictionary’s grammar note gives “From my point of view,” not “In my point of view.” “In my opinion” and “in my view” are both fine.

Short answers: “I think so” and “I don’t think so”

When someone asks “Will it be ready by Friday?”, the short answer is “I think so” or “I don’t think so.” Cambridge Dictionary’s note on so and not marks “Yes, I think” without “so” as an error and says “I think not” is not common in everyday modern English. In a longer answer, English usually puts the “not” on “think”: “I don’t think it’ll be ready” is preferred to “I think it won’t be ready” (Cambridge Dictionary).

Be careful with “I don’t think so” on its own. Oxford lists an informal use of it “to say very strongly that you do not agree with something” (“Me? Fail? I don’t think so.”), so with the wrong tone it can sound like a flat no. In a discussion, add a reason: “I don’t think so, because the last test only ran for a week.”

Agreeing: fully, partly or reluctantly

Three agreement phrases confuse learners because they seem to say something else. “I couldn’t agree more” means you completely agree, and “I couldn’t agree less” means you completely disagree (Cambridge Dictionary). “You can say that again” means “That is very true” (Wiktionary); nobody wants you to repeat anything. And “Tell me about it” is used “to express agreement and sympathy” (Wiktionary): “This train is always late.” “Tell me about it.”

A grammar check: agree is a verb, so it’s “I agree,” never “I am agree.” The patterns in the Oxford Learner’s Dictionaries entry include “agree with somebody” (“I totally agree with you!”), “agree about/on something” and “agree with something.” To “agree to” a plan or a request means you accept it. Partial agreement is often the most useful kind at work: say exactly what you accept before what you don’t, as in “I agree on the goal; I’m less sure about the timeline.”

Disagreeing politely, and firmly when you need to

The phrases below go from softest to firmest. In most work conversations, the second row is a safe default. Move down the table when the stakes are high or when a softer signal didn’t get through.

Several of these come from the Oxford Learner’s Dictionaries list of polite ways to disagree, including “I take your point, but I don’t think it would work in practice” and “I understand where you’re coming from, but…” To push back is to argue against a position (Wiktionary), so “I need to push back on this” tells people clearly that an objection is coming. If the disagreement comes during the questions after a talk, our guide to English presentation phrases has lines for difficult questions.

Two small words that help: “actually” and “well”

Cambridge Dictionary’s grammar notes say “actually” can be used “to correct someone politely”: “I think ten people, not eight, came to the meeting, actually.” At the start of a reply, “well” can show that “what we are about to say is not quite what is expected”: “Did you like that book?” “Well, it was interesting, but…” Both words give the listener a moment of warning before the disagreement arrives.

When to be firm

Sometimes soft phrasing isn’t enough. Be clear when there’s a safety, legal or ethical problem, when a number or a fact is wrong and people will act on it, or when you’ve already hinted and nobody noticed. A firm disagreement can still be polite: it’s about the idea, it comes with a reason and it stays calm. “I have to disagree with you there. The contract says 30 days, not 60” is firm and polite at the same time.

Be careful with “with all due respect.” Wiktionary describes it as a phrase used before disagreeing with someone or saying something they may find offensive, “usually considered polite” (Wiktionary). It also tells the listener that something unwelcome is on its way, so in a tense meeting it can raise the temperature. “I see it differently” does the same job more quietly.

Hedging: softer words that keep your view clear

Hedges are words that make a statement less direct. Cambridge Dictionary’s English Grammar Today calls them “an important part of polite conversation” and lists the main types: tense and aspect (“I wondered if…”), modal expressions (“could,” “maybe,” “possibly”), vague language (“sort of,” “kind of”) and some verbs (“feel,” “suppose,” “reckon”). Here’s how they change a blunt sentence.

One or two hedges per sentence are enough. “I might be wrong, but I sort of feel that maybe we could possibly wait” is so soft that nobody knows what you think. Hedge opinions, and leave facts plain: if you know the deadline is Friday, say “The deadline is Friday,” not “I think it might be Friday.”

Where you put “but” changes the message

In a sentence with “but,” the part after it is the point you’re making, and the part before it is the cushion. Compare:

• “It’s a great plan, but it’s too expensive.” The message is no.
• “It’s expensive, but it’s a great plan.” The message is yes.

So put the acknowledgment first and your view after “but.” If you want to end on a positive note, flip the order. If you start every reply with “Yes, but…,” people may hear that you disagree with everything; when you’re really adding to an idea, try “Yes, and…” or “That’s true. I’d also add…” And make the acknowledgment specific and true: “The customer research in your slides is really useful, but…” A vague “Great idea, but…” can sound like a formula.

Asking for other people’s opinions

Asking for views shows you’re open, and it brings disagreement out early, while it’s still easy to deal with.

Several of these come from the Oxford Learner’s Dictionaries note on asking for somebody’s opinion. “What am I missing?” is especially useful when you’re the most senior person in the room, because others may keep a different view to themselves unless you ask for it.

Buying time, conceding and changing your mind

Buying time before you answer

• “That’s a good question. Let me think for a second.”
• “Hmm, I haven’t really thought about that, but…”
• “It’s hard to say, but I’d guess…”
• “Well, it depends on…”
• “Can I get back to you on that?” (at work, when you need to check something)

A short pause is fine. If you tend to fill it with “um,” our guide to English filler words has more phrases and a drill for thinking time.

Conceding a point

Changing your mind

• “You’ve convinced me.”
• “OK, I’ve changed my mind.”
• “On second thought, I’m not so sure.” (Wiktionary: “after reconsidering”)
• “I stand corrected.” (you were wrong about a fact; Wiktionary: “I was wrong”)
• “Now that you put it that way, I can see it.”
• “I’ve come around to your view.” (to come around is to change your mind, “especially to begin to agree,” says Wiktionary)

Saying that you’ve changed your mind shows you were listening, and in a meeting it helps the group move on: “Fair enough, you’ve convinced me. Let’s go with Thursday.”

Ending a disagreement

• “Let’s agree to disagree.” (to “accept each other’s opinions and cease arguing,” says Wiktionary)
• “I think we see this differently, and that’s OK.”
• “Let’s park this and come back to it next week.”
• “Why don’t we look at the numbers and decide on Friday?”

“Let’s agree to disagree” works between friends and for opinions that don’t need a decision. At work, when something has to be decided, end with a next step instead: who checks what, and by when.

How direct should you be?

Here is one disagreement said five ways. A colleague says, “Let’s launch next week.”

The right level depends on who you’re talking to and whether you’re speaking or writing. The levels below are our suggestions; adjust them to your team.

Speech gives you two things writing doesn’t: your voice can soften a sentence, and you can repair a misunderstanding right away (“Sorry, that came out wrong. What I mean is…”). In writing, the words carry everything. Before you send a disagreement by email, read it once as the person who will receive it.

A note on culture: watch the room

Expectations about directness differ. Brown and Levinson proposed their politeness model as universal, but other scholars have questioned how well it applies across cultures, and researchers comparing cultural groups report that “communicative expectations, patterns of communicative activities and choice of politeness strategies vary among cultures” (Wikipedia). Expectations also differ between companies, teams and individual people, so don’t assume from someone’s nationality how they like to disagree.

• Watch first. In a new team, notice how people raise concerns in meetings, and match them.
• Ask. “How do people here usually raise concerns about a plan?” is a normal question for a new colleague.
• Say what you’re doing. In a group from different backgrounds, label your move: “Let me play devil’s advocate for a second” (arguing a view you may not hold, to test an idea; Wiktionary) or “I’m going to push back a little, because…”

Three short dialogues

Practice each dialogue with the trainer, then switch roles. The names, numbers and situations are made up for illustration.

Nadia uses all four moves: she acknowledges (“I see why you want to launch sooner”), softens (“I’m not sure”), gives a reason (twelve open bugs, two of them in payments) and offers an alternative (“What if we…?”). When Alex objects, she concedes the part that’s true (“That’s a fair point. Most of them are”) and keeps her main point after “but.”

Between friends, the tone is more direct (“Every way?” “Come on!”), but the moves are the same. Rosa concedes one point (“I’ll give you the commute”), explains her view and offers a middle ground. Jamie’s “Fair enough. But…” accepts a point without giving up the argument.

According to IELTS, Part 3 is a 4–5 minute discussion of issues related to the Part 2 topic “in a more general and abstract way,” and it “tests your ability to explain your opinions and to analyse, discuss and speculate about issues.” IDP lists “agreeing or disagreeing with something” and “giving reasons for your opinion” among the speech functions that may come up. The public key assessment criteria also list “indicating the speaker’s attitude to content (whether favourable, neutral or unfavourable)” under Lexical Resource, and the phrases in this guide are one way to show it.

You don’t have to agree with a statement the examiner reads out. Partial agreement with reasons, like Leo’s “I agree up to a point,” usually gives you more to talk about than a plain yes or no. For the format, scoring and a four-week plan, see our IELTS Speaking test guide.

Common mistakes and what to say instead

Mistakes in any language

• “I am agree.” Agree is a verb: “I agree” or “I don’t agree.”
• “I agree your idea.” Add with: “I agree with your idea,” “I agree with you.”
• “In my point of view.” Say “from my point of view” or “in my opinion.”
• “Yes, I think.” “I think yes.” Say “I think so” or “I don’t think so.”
• “I think it won’t work.” It’s correct, but “I don’t think it’ll work” is the usual way to say it.
• “In my opinion, I think…” Choose one.
• “Of course” as an answer. Cambridge Dictionary warns that answering a question with “of course” when you give the listener new information “can sound impolite,” as if the question was a silly one. “Did you go to any shows?” “Yes, we went to three,” not “Of course.”
• “You’re wrong.” Talk about the idea: “I don’t think that’s right” or “I see it differently.”

Mistakes by first language

If you speak Japanese or Korean

In Japanese, はい and いいえ agree or disagree with the question as it was asked. Wikipedia’s article on yes and no gives the example of answering はい to “Are you not going?” to mean “Right, I am not going,” and notes that in English, “yes” would contradict the negative question. Korean works the same way. Wiktionary’s entry for 예 notes that Korean “yes” (예, or the less formal 네) “follows the polarity of the question, unlike in English,” and its example answers “Have you never been there?” with 예, 없습니다, which English says as “No, never.” In English, a bare “yes” to a negative question is ambiguous, as Wikipedia also notes. So when someone asks “You don’t agree?”, answer with a full sentence: “No, I don’t,” “Right, I don’t” or “Actually, I do.”

Listening signals can cause a similar problem. Japanese aizuchi such as はい, ええ and そうですね show that you are listening, and Wikipedia notes they are “frequently misinterpreted by non-native speakers [of Japanese] as the listener showing agreement and approval” (Wikipedia). The same can happen in English: if you say “Yes, yes” while a colleague explains a plan, they may think you agree. Use “Mm-hm” or “I see” to show you’re following, and give your view when they finish. Wiktionary also lists そうですね as a filler meaning “well,” which in English is “Hmm, let me think,” not “That’s right.” If you’d call an idea 微妙, try “I’m not sure about it” or “It’s not great”: Wiktionary lists “subtle,” “delicate” and “lackluster” among its senses, and in English “It’s subtle” doesn’t mean “It’s not good.”

Korean 글쎄요 is closer to “Well, let me see” (Wiktionary) than to “I don’t know,” which can sound as if you have no opinion at all. And agree needs with before a person or an opinion: “I agree with you,” “I agree with your idea.”

If you speak Spanish or Portuguese

Spanish de acuerdo means “in agreement” (Wiktionary), so estar de acuerdo is literally “to be in agreement,” which is where “I am agree” comes from; in English, the verb does the work on its own: “I agree.” Portuguese discordar takes de (Eu discordo da Julia, in Wiktionary’s example), but English “disagree” takes “with”: “I disagree with Julia.” Tener razón and ter razão mean “to be right” (Wiktionary, Wiktionary), so “Tienes razón” and “Você tem razão” are “You’re right.”

Discutir can mean “to discuss” in both languages, but Wiktionary also lists “to argue” for Spanish and “to argue, to quarrel” for Portuguese. In English, the two are different: “We discussed the budget” is a calm conversation, and “We argued about the budget” is a fight. Finally, Spanish actualmente and Portuguese atualmente mean “currently” (Wiktionary, Wiktionary). English “actually” is a different and very useful word: Cambridge Dictionary’s note says it can “correct someone politely” and lists “actual” for “current” as a typical error. “Actually, I think the meeting is on Thursday” is a gentle correction.

A practice routine for disagreeing out loud

Reading these phrases won’t make them come out in a real conversation; saying them out loud will. This routine is our suggestion. Ten to fifteen minutes is enough.

1. Pick three real situations. A plan at work you have doubts about, an opinion a friend holds that you don’t share and an IELTS-style statement such as “Everyone should learn to cook.”
2. Write one four-move answer for each. Acknowledge, soften, give a reason, offer an alternative. Say each one out loud five times, until it sounds like you.
3. Change the directness. Say the same disagreement at levels 2, 3 and 4 from the scale above, and notice which words change.
4. Give a 60-second opinion and record it. State your view, give a reason and an example, then add the other side (“That said…”). Listen back once: is your main point after “but”?
5. Practice with someone who pushes back. Ask a friend, a teacher or an AI tutor to disagree with you, so you practice conceding one point and holding on to another.
6. Practice the ending. Finish each exchange by changing your mind, agreeing to disagree or proposing a next step.

Practice with an AI tutor that pushes back

Disagreeing is hard to practice alone, because someone has to disagree with you. In Fluently, you talk with an AI tutor by voice, like on a phone call. You can describe your own scenario for a role-play, and the tutor plays the other role. For example: “You’re my colleague. You don’t like my plan to move our weekly team meeting from Monday to Thursday. Push back politely, one reason at a time, and make me defend my plan.” Then you answer in real time, without a script. Next time, switch it around: ask the tutor to propose a plan you disagree with, and use the four moves.

After your turn, a card can show a grammar fix, a more natural way to say your sentence (the way a native speaker would put it) or a better word, and the conversation keeps going. Your scores for pronunciation, fluency, vocabulary, grammar and coherence update as you practice. In the settings, you can turn off live captions, so you follow your colleague by ear as you would in a meeting, and change the tutor’s speaking pace.

To see where you stand first, the free English speaking test in the app is a conversation of about four minutes that estimates your CEFR level and gives you an overall score out of 100 and scores for five skills.

Fluently is free to start. Take a free AI speaking assessment to see your level, then practice with games that build your vocabulary and pronunciation. Conversations with your AI tutor come with Fluently Premium.

Practice the disagreement before the real meeting

Get the Fluently app and take the free AI speaking assessment to see your level, then practice with games that build your vocabulary and pronunciation. Conversations with your AI tutor, where you can role-play a meeting with a colleague who disagrees with your plan and get cards after your turn, come with Fluently Premium.

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