Criminal Minds Quotes: 34 Character Lines and Opening Quotes With Transcriptions, Phonetics and Show Insights
Yurii Rebryk · Updated · 13 min read
The most famous Criminal Minds quotes are the two Jason Gideon reads in the first episode, Joseph Conrad’s “Men alone are quite capable of every wickedness” and Nietzsche’s “When you look long into an abyss, the abyss looks into you”, plus Reid’s “I do have an IQ of 187.” Below are 34 lines from seasons 1 to 15, checked against the episode subtitles: 15 said by the characters and 19 opening or closing quotes, each with what the record shows about its author.
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In this article
- How these Criminal Minds quotes were checked
- Criminal Minds quotes from the characters
- Why does Criminal Minds have quotes at the start and end?
- Criminal Minds opening and closing quotes with the right author
- Misattributed Criminal Minds quotes: wrong author or no proof
- Criminal Minds quotes by season and by mood
- Criminal Minds words: unsub, profiler, M.O., victimology, wheels up
- Reid’s facts vs Garcia’s jokes: formal and casual English
- Criminal Minds quotes that are misquoted online
- Criminal Minds facts: creator, seasons and the final season
- Short Criminal Minds quotes to shadow
Jump to Reid, Hotch and Gideon, Garcia and Morgan, Rossi, JJ and Prentiss, why the show uses quotes, opening quotes, misattributed quotes, BAU words, misquotes, facts or practice.
How these Criminal Minds quotes were checked
Every line was found in the episode subtitle transcripts of the episode named next to it. Speakers were confirmed on Wikiquote’s season pages, the “Bookend Quotes” lists of the Criminal Minds fan wiki or IMDb; original authors on Wikiquote’s author pages and Quote Investigator. IPA is US English from the Cambridge Dictionary. No line describes violence.
Criminal Minds quotes from the characters
Spencer Reid quotes (Matthew Gray Gubler)
Dr. Spencer Reid, played by Matthew Gray Gubler as a series regular from 2005 to 2020, is the team’s young genius. His long, exact sentences are good practice for formal English.
| Quote | Episode | Scene | Learner notes |
|---|---|---|---|
| “I don’t believe that intelligence can be accurately quantified, but I do have an IQ of 187 and an eidetic memory and can read 20,000 words per minute.” … “Yes, I’m a genius.” | S1, Ep. 1 “Extreme Aggressor” | Hotch introduces “Special Agent Dr. Reid”, and a man asks if he is a genius. | An eidetic /aɪˈdet̬.ɪk/ memory remembers exact details. To quantify /ˈkwɑːn.t̬ə.faɪ/ = to measure. |
| “Actually, it’s more like we’re looking for a needle in a pile of needles.” … “A needle would stand out in a haystack.” | S1, Ep. 4 “Plain Sight” | Morgan calls the case a needle in a haystack. | A needle in a haystack = something almost impossible to find. Reid takes the idiom literally. |
| “Sometimes for an artist, the only difference between insanity and genius is success.” | S3, Ep. 10 “True Night” | The man the team is hunting is a successful writer and artist. | insanity /ɪnˈsæn.ə.t̬i/. Reuse the frame the only difference between X and Y is Z. |
| “This is calm, and it’s ‘Doctor.’” | S7, Ep. 1 “It Takes a Village” | A senator questioning the team tells him, “Calm down, agent.” | Stress is. Reid has three PhDs. The l in calm is silent: /kɑːm/. |
Aaron Hotchner and Jason Gideon quotes
Aaron “Hotch” Hotchner (Thomas Gibson) leads the unit in seasons 1 to 12 (Wikipedia’s character list). Jason Gideon (Mandy Patinkin, 2005 to 2007) reads most of the Season 1 bookend quotes.
| Quote | Episode | Scene | Learner notes |
|---|---|---|---|
| Hotch: “Dr. Reid, our expert on, well, everything.” | S1, Ep. 1 | Hotch introduces each agent by name and specialty. | Well is a pause word: leave a small gap before “everything”. |
| Gideon: “We refer to him as the unknown subject or unsub.” | S1, Ep. 1 | Gideon teaches a class about an open case. | Merriam-Webster: informal US law-enforcement word for “the unknown perpetrator of a crime”. Say UN-sub. |
| Gideon: “Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” Reid: “Samuel Beckett.” Morgan: “Try not. Do or do not.” Reid: “Yoda.” | S1, Ep. 1 | The team has six tries to guess a password before the program wipes the hard drive. | A quote game. Beckett wrote the line in Worstward Ho (1983, Wikiquote). |
| Hotch: “Sometimes there are no words, no clever quotes to neatly sum up what’s happened that day.” | S4, Ep. 26 “…and Back” | His closing voiceover after a hard case, in place of a quote from a book. | To sum up = to give the main point in a few words. |
Penelope Garcia and Derek Morgan quotes
Penelope Garcia (Kirsten Vangsness), the technical analyst, is a former hacker who took the FBI job instead of jail. Derek Morgan (Shemar Moore) calls her “Baby Girl” (Wikipedia).
| Quote | Episode | Scene | Learner notes |
|---|---|---|---|
| Garcia: “You’ve reached Penelope Garcia in the FBI’s Office of Supreme Genius.” … Morgan: “I thought I was calling the Office of Supreme Genius.” Garcia: “Well, gorgeous, you’ve been rerouted to the Office of Too Friggin’ Bad.” | S1, Ep. 1 | Morgan needs a password program broken. | To reroute /ˌriːˈraʊt/ = to send another way. Friggin’ is rude: friends only. |
| Garcia: “Office of Unfettered Omniscience. Penelope Garcia is in. Speak, oh fortunate one.” | S1, Ep. 4 | Agent Elle Greenaway calls with a request. | unfettered /ʌnˈfet̬.ɚd/ = not limited. omniscience /ɑːmˈnɪʃ.əns/ = knowing everything. |
| Morgan: “Hey, Dollface, ready to work some magic for me?” Garcia: “Challenge me, you beautiful behavioral analyst.” | S2, Ep. 8 “Empty Planet” | Morgan calls about a case in the Seattle area. | Work some magic = solve a problem cleverly. behavioral /bɪˈheɪ.vjɚ.əl/ is US spelling; UK: behavioural. |
| Morgan: “Garcia, baby girl, please tell me something I want to hear.” Garcia: “You’re a statuesque god of sculpted chocolate thunder.” | S3, Ep. 2 “In Name and Blood” | Morgan wants a lead; Garcia starts with a compliment. | statuesque /ˌstætʃ.uˈesk/ = attractively tall and large, like a statue. |
David Rossi, JJ and Emily Prentiss quotes
David Rossi (Joe Mantegna), a founder of the BAU, returns from retirement in 2007. Jennifer “JJ” Jareau (A.J. Cook) starts as media liaison. Emily Prentiss (Paget Brewster) joins in Season 2 and is unit chief from Season 12 (Wikipedia’s character list).
| Quote | Episode | Scene | Learner notes |
|---|---|---|---|
| Rossi: “Life is a hell of a thing to happen to a person.” | S3, Ep. 10 “True Night” | Prentiss asks if anyone could become like the man behind this case. | A hell of a thing = an extreme thing. |
| JJ: “You boys behave or I will ground you both.” | S3, Ep. 10 | Morgan playfully hits Reid on the head, and Reid complains to JJ. | To ground a child = to keep them at home as a punishment. |
| Prentiss: “I’ve always heard every ending is also a beginning and we just don’t know it at the time. I’d like to believe that’s true.” | S7, Ep. 24 “Run” | Her voiceover closes the season over JJ and Will’s wedding; she is leaving to run Interpol’s London office. | The present simple states a belief: “every ending is”. |
Why does Criminal Minds have quotes at the start and end?
Episodes usually open and close with a quote from a real writer, read in voiceover by one of the agents; fans call them bookend quotes. The pilot has four, all read by Gideon: Conrad, Emerson, Churchill and Nietzsche (Looper). We found no interview where the writers explain the habit; on screen, the quote sets the theme of the case.
Nietzsche’s abyss line is the show’s signature. Gideon reads it to close the pilot, Hotch reads a longer version to open “100” (Season 5, Episode 9), and JJ reads it to close “200” (Season 9, Episode 14) (fan wiki).
Criminal Minds opening and closing quotes with the right author
These eleven quotes come from the writer the show names, though the show often shortens or rewords them.
| Quote | Read by, episode | Original source | Learner notes |
|---|---|---|---|
| “The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary. Men alone are quite capable of every wickedness.” | Gideon, S1, Ep. 1 (opening) | Joseph Conrad, Under Western Eyes (1911), with a semicolon in the middle (Wikiquote) | supernatural /ˌsuː.pɚˈnætʃ.ɚ.əl/, wickedness /ˈwɪk.ɪd.nəs/ |
| “When you look long into an abyss, the abyss looks into you.” | Gideon, S1, Ep. 1 (closing) | Friedrich Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil (1886), aphorism 146; Hollingdale’s translation: “when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you” (Wikiquote) | An abyss /əˈbɪs/ is a very deep hole. |
| “The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.” | Gideon, S1, Ep. 11 “Blood Hungry” | Harriet Beecher Stowe, Little Foxes (1865), word for word (Wikiquote) | Left unsaid = never said. |
| “Between the idea and the reality, between the motion and the act, falls the shadow.” | Reid, S2, Ep. 11 “Sex, Birth, Death” | T. S. Eliot, “The Hollow Men” (1925), in short lines (Wikiquote) | “Falls the shadow” = “the shadow falls” (poetic word order). |
| “All secrets are deep. All secrets become dark. That’s in the nature of secrets.” | Morgan, S2, Ep. 12 “Profiler, Profiled” | Cory Doctorow, Someone Comes to Town, Someone Leaves Town (2005): “All secrets become deep” (Wikiquote) | In the nature of = typical of. |
| “Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.” | Garcia, S3, Ep. 9 “Penelope” | Shakespeare, All’s Well That Ends Well, Act 1: a mother’s advice to her son (Wikiquote) | None sounds like nun: /nʌn/. |
| “Hope is the thing with feathers, that perches in the soul, and sings the tune without words, and never stops at all.” | JJ, S5, Ep. 16 “Mosley Lane” | Emily Dickinson; her poem says “without the words” (Wikiquote) | To perch /pɝːtʃ/ = to sit on an edge, like a bird. |
| “Courage is grace under pressure.” | Garcia, S11, Ep. 1 “The Job” | Ernest Hemingway’s phrase “grace under pressure”, from a 1926 letter to F. Scott Fitzgerald; in 1929 he used it to define “guts” (Wikiquote) | Under pressure = in a hard, stressful moment. |
| “Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.” | Reid, S12, Ep. 20 “Unforgettable” | Søren Kierkegaard; a short form of a line in his journals (Wikiquote) | Can only… but must… builds a contrast into one sentence. |
| “Hold on when there is nothing in you except the will which says, ‘Hold on!’” | Reid, S13, Ep. 1 “Wheels Up” | Rudyard Kipling, the poem “If”: “…Except the will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’” (Wikiquote) | Hold on = keep going; on the phone it means “wait”. |
| “Man is not what he thinks he is. He is what he hides.” | Rossi, S15, Ep. 1 “Under the Skin” | André Malraux; the second half matches his novel Les Noyers de l’Altenburg (1943): “A man is what he hides”. We found no source for the first half (Wikiquote) | Stress the contrast: THINKS, HIDES. |
Misattributed Criminal Minds quotes: wrong author or no proof
In these eight bookend quotes, the named author did not write the words, nobody has found them in that author’s work, or the wording is someone else’s.
| Quote | Read by, episode | Credited to | What the record shows |
|---|---|---|---|
| “Nothing is so common as the wish to be remarkable.” remarkable /rɪˈmɑːr.kə.bəl/ | Hotch, S1, Ep. 6 “L.D.S.K.” | Shakespeare | Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr. (1858): “Nothing is so common-place as to wish to be remarkable” (Wikiquote) |
| “Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.” To embark on = to start. | Gideon, S1, Ep. 13 “Poison” | Confucius | Called a “Japanese proverb” in English as early as 1924 (Wikiquote) |
| “The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.” To overwhelm /ˌoʊ.vɚˈwelm/ = to defeat with force. | Hotch, S1, Ep. 16 “The Tribe” | Nietzsche | Rudyard Kipling, as Arthur Gordon recalled a 1935 interview in 1959 (Quote Investigator) |
| “In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.” deceit /dɪˈsiːt/ = hiding the truth. | Gideon, S1, Ep. 21 “Secrets and Lies” | George Orwell | Not found in Orwell’s writings; the earliest match is a 1982 book (Quote Investigator) |
| “We can easily forgive a child who’s afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” | Hotch, S2, Ep. 6 “The Boogeyman” | Plato | Not in any of Plato’s writings (Wikiquote) |
| “Fairy tales do not tell children that dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children that dragons can be killed.” | Hotch, S3, Ep. 5 “Seven Seconds” | G. K. Chesterton | Chesterton’s idea (Tremendous Trifles, 1909), not his words; Wikiquote lists this wording as a paraphrase used in this episode (Wikiquote) |
| “No matter how dark the moment, love and hope are always possible.” | Morgan, S4, Ep. 22 “The Big Wheel” | George Chakiris | No original source found. Morgan reads it; Google’s AI Overview gives it to Hotch (fan wiki) |
| “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” Then his own words: “This job isn’t just what I do, it’s who I am.” triumph /ˈtraɪ.əmf/ | Rossi, S7, Ep. 22 “Profiling 101” | Edmund Burke | Not found in Burke; the earliest close match is a 1916 speech by Charles F. Aked (Quote Investigator) |
Criminal Minds quotes by season and by mood
| Season or mood | Quotes on this page |
|---|---|
| Season 1 | Reid’s IQ, the needle, Garcia’s greetings, Beckett and Yoda; Conrad, Nietzsche, Stowe |
| Seasons 2 to 5 | Dollface, baby girl, “True Night”, “no clever quotes”; Eliot, Shakespeare, Dickinson |
| Seasons 7 to 15 | Reid’s “Doctor”, Prentiss’s goodbye; Hemingway, Kierkegaard, Kipling, Malraux |
| Funny | Office of Too Friggin’ Bad, the pile of needles, the Yoda reply, “I will ground you both” |
| Short, for a caption or senior quote | “Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.” “Hold on.” |
Criminal Minds words: unsub, profiler, M.O., victimology, wheels up
The BAU is real: its agents work at the FBI Academy in Quantico, Virginia, and are “known informally as profilers” (FBI, 2006).
| Word | Say it | Meaning | On the show |
|---|---|---|---|
| unsub | UN-sub | the unknown person who committed a crime | Gideon defines it in S1, Ep. 1 |
| profiler | /ˈproʊ.faɪ.lɚ/ | someone who predicts what a criminal is like from the information available | every agent; their description of the unsub is the profile |
| M.O. (modus operandi) | em-OH; /ˌmoʊ.dəs ˌɑː.pəˈræn.diː/ | a particular way of doing something | how an unsub commits the crime |
| victimology | /ˌvɪk.təˈmɑː.lə.dʒi/ | the scientific study of the victims of crime | who the victims are, and why the unsub chose them |
| wheels up | WHEELS UP | the plane takes off | “Wheels up in 30” is credited to Hotch on IMDb and is in the S6, Ep. 5 subtitles |
Reid’s facts vs Garcia’s jokes: formal and casual English
| Feature | Reid (formal) | Garcia (casual) |
|---|---|---|
| Words | “quantified”, “eidetic”, “accurately” | “gorgeous”, “friggin’”, “chocolate thunder” |
| Sentences | long, with exact numbers: “an IQ of 187” | short orders and jokes: “Challenge me.” |
| Use it for | presentations, reports, job interviews | friends and close colleagues |
Criminal Minds quotes that are misquoted online
| Popular version (checked November 4, 2026) | Seen on | What the episode says |
|---|---|---|
| Rossi: “Life is a hell of a thing to happen to someone.” | Legit.ng | S3, Ep. 10: “…to happen to a person.” |
| “I’ve always heard every ending is also a (new) beginning…” | Legit.ng (as Reid’s line); Google’s AI Overview (with “new”) | Prentiss says it in S7, Ep. 24, without “new” (fan wiki) |
| Hotch: “No matter how dark the moment…” | Google’s AI Overview | Morgan reads it, S4, Ep. 22. |
| “Office of Unfettered Omniscience – how may I help you, O fortunate one?” | IMDb | S1, Ep. 4: “…Penelope Garcia is in. Speak, oh fortunate one.” |
| “What we do for ourselves dies with us…” as a Gideon quote | Legit.ng | Gideon reads it in S1, Ep. 14 and credits “Albert Pine”. |
Criminal Minds facts: creator, seasons and the final season
| Fact | Detail |
|---|---|
| Created by | Jeff Davis (Wikipedia) |
| Network and premiere | CBS, September 22, 2005 |
| Original run | 15 seasons on CBS, to February 19, 2020 |
| Revival | Criminal Minds: Evolution on Paramount+, from November 24, 2022 (Season 16 onward) |
| Status (as of November 2026) | Season 19 premiered on May 28, 2026 (Wikipedia); Season 20, due in 2027, will be the last (Deadline, October 30, 2026) |
| Spin-offs | Suspect Behavior (CBS, 2011) and Beyond Borders (CBS, 2016 to 2017) |
Short Criminal Minds quotes to shadow
Shadowing means you play one short line, pause, and say it back with the same speed and stress; the shadowing practice guide explains the method, and the English to IPA tool shows the sounds of any line. Capitals mark stress.
| Line | Say it | Watch for |
|---|---|---|
| “Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” | TRY a-GAIN. FAIL a-GAIN. FAIL BET-ter. | A short pause at each full stop. |
| “Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.” | LOVE ALL, TRUST a FEW, do WRONG to NONE. | A few is two quick syllables. |
| “Courage is grace under pressure.” | COUR-age is GRACE un-der PRES-sure. | Courage: /ˈkɝː.ɪdʒ/. |
BAU lines: short and calm
B1Try again. Fail again. Fail better.
Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.
This is calm, and it’s Doctor.
Courage is grace under pressure.
Read it aloud
Listen to a model reading, then record yourself. You get your speaking pace, the share of words that came through clearly, and the words to repeat.
Reid and Prentiss: longer lines
B2I don’t believe that intelligence can be accurately quantified, but I do have an IQ of 187 and an eidetic memory and can read 20,000 words per minute.
I’ve always heard every ending is also a beginning and we just don’t know it at the time. I’d like to believe that’s true.
Read it aloud
Listen to a model reading, then record yourself. You get your speaking pace, the share of words that came through clearly, and the words to repeat.
Reid claims to read 20,000 words per minute; measure your own speaking pace with the speaking rate calculator. More law-enforcement shows: The Night Agent quotes and The Rookie quotes.
Say the lines out loud and get feedback
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Frequently asked questions
What does Penelope Garcia call Derek Morgan?
Garcia answers him with compliments: “gorgeous” (S1, Ep. 1), “you beautiful behavioral analyst” (S2, Ep. 8), “a statuesque god of sculpted chocolate thunder” (S3, Ep. 2). Morgan calls her “Baby Girl”. Wikipedia’s character list calls their friendship “playful, flirty, but platonic”.
Why was JJ removed from Criminal Minds?
In 2010 A.J. Cook’s contract option was not picked up, so JJ left after two episodes of Season 6 (Deadline). After viewers criticized the decision, Cook returned for the Season 6 finale and signed a two-year deal as a series regular from Season 7 (The Hollywood Reporter).
How famous is Criminal Minds?
Very. It won the People’s Choice Award for Best TV Crime Drama in 2017 (Wikipedia), and its 20 seasons on CBS and Paramount+ (the last due in 2027) tie it for fifth place among the longest-running drama series (Deadline, October 30, 2026).
Is there a list or PDF of all Criminal Minds opening and closing quotes?
There is no official PDF. Wikiquote has a page for each season, and each fan wiki episode page has a “Bookend Quotes” section. Wikiquote warns its quotes “may be inaccurately quoted or attributed”, so check against the episode.
Is the BAU in Criminal Minds a real FBI unit?
Yes. Investigators from all over the world call the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Units in Quantico for advice when a case goes cold (FBI, 2006). The agents in the show are fictional.
